The showing of politeness in one’s attitude and behavior towards others.

Quotes

“No one is too big to be courteous, but some are too little”

“To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy, to inferiors nobleness.”

“Courtesy is a small act but it packs a mighty wallop”

“It is difficult to find a courteous person today who isn’t trying to sell you something”

Importance of common courtesy

It is not that long ago that common courtesy was indeed common. It was an accepted social norm; a fundamental part of our society that oiled the cogs of social interaction. Children were taught their Ps and Qs and to respect their elders. This ingrained attitude was reflected in adults that showed courtesy and respect to others, whether they believed those others worthy of such or not. While this was not true of all, it was true of most.

The main benefit common courtesy provided society was not the formulaic courtesy or social manners it provided, but the consideration for others that it engendered. Being courteous necessitates considering the person you are being courteous to. The practice of being courteous therefore instills an attitude of consideration for others. This is noticeably lacking in modern society. People are no longer considering how their actions may impact others, instead we are operating on the basis of what is most convenient for ourselves. We get on an escalator and stand in the middle of our moving step, blocking the way without any thought that someone behind us might want to walk up the escalator. We park our cars on footpaths without considering that a parent with a pram or pushchair will have to go out onto the road to get past.

People are still considerate to others, even strangers. The offers of aid in many forms that flood in to help those who are victims of natural disasters demonstrates this. But we only seem to have this consideration when circumstances thrust the need into our faces. We have lost the innate ability to consider others in our day to day activities, because we have lost the education and practice of doing so with the loss of common courtesy.

The loss of common courtesy from our society has resulted in a decrease in the consideration for others that we seem able to conceive to display and give. The increase in crime and particularly violent crime is a likely result. Courtesy and consideration shown towards others can not be legislated, they need to be taught. Common courtesy was a part of a society that was unjust in its discrimination, but in the main it was not a causative factor of that injustice. If we wish to improve the society of today, we need to re-instigate common courtesy as a major component of our social interaction.

Examples of common courtesy

-holding out a door for anyone

-considering an action before doing it and how it will affect others

-respect elders and others

not hypocritical or deceitful; open; genuine

Eagerness to do what is right with transparent motives.

Quotes for Sincerity

“Time goes by fast, and people go in and out of your life so quickly, so you should never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.”

“What is uttered from the heart alone, will win the hearts of others to your own.”

Importance of Sincerity

The word sincerity is from two Latin words, sine, without, and cera, wax. One of the meanings of sincerity is purity and that honey from which all the wax has been strained is called pure honey. A friend whose regard for us is pure, or, to use a more suitable word, is genuine, is a friend who may be trusted.

-hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something

Quotes

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”

Importance of Optimism

Never flock with the failures, always go with the winners. Avoid black-and-white statements. Your thoughts, attitudes form your acts and the results. You must believe in what you do, in what you want. You must believe that you can succeed and you will. All the forces of the Universe will join to help you to get what you want if you believe it.

If you are a person who is looking forward to a life “half-full” rather than “half empty,” you will have a better chance of obtaining more life satisfaction and enjoyment

Examples of Optimism

Examples may help you understand how to change from pessimism to optimism. Let’s say you are worried about a problem at work and your stress causes you to feel anxious and depressed. The more you think about this problem, the more you worry about losing your job. Anxiety and depression have this tendency to become cyclical and self-perpetuating. In this anxious state, you become even more pessimistic and feel the situation is beyond your control. Now let’s try to change your outlook about this problem. The essence of anxiety and pessimism is the perception that the problem is out of your control. First it’s important to focus on what factors are possible to control. Rather than worrying about losing your job, think about the specific factors which may be causing the work problem. At this point, your outlook probably fits Seligman’s description of pessimism. You may think, for example, “I’m not smart enough” (a personal explanation), “my lack of ability affects all of my job performance” (a pervasive explanation), and “I’ll never improve” (a permanent explanation). If you can’t immediately think yourself through this pessimism, try the “best friend” technique. If your best friend was down in the dumps about this work problem, how would you help your friend cope? You probably would counter the personal explanation with a situational explanation; for example you might say, “You missed the last two deadlines, but the timelines were really tight and few people could met that goal.” You would help your friend see that the problem is not pervasive, but instead situational and likely temporary. You might help your friend focus on good job performances in the past when the deadlines were not as tight. In these ways you would be helping your friend see that the problem is not permanent and change is possible when the situation is analyzed. You might say, ” You’ve done well in the past, but since you had some problem with tight deadlines lately, you can try to make some changes such as organizing ahead of time to meet deadlines or talking to the boss about expanding job timelines.” After going through this exercise, then you can be your own best friend and talk yourself through the work issue, ending up with a specific action-oriented problem explanation leading to a positive plan to change the problem in the future. Anxiety and depression can then be put aside more easily so you can focus on the issue at hand and work to resolve the problem.

For example you have adopted a healthy eating plan to lose weight. One night you succumb to your desires and eat a large piece of chocolate cake. A pessimistic explanation of this event might cause you to feel guilty and depressed and might even cause you to give up your new diet. Your personal pessimistic explanation could be, ” Now I’ve blown it. I have no willpower”, while your permanent pessimistic explanation might be, ” I’ll never be able to keep up a healthy diet.” A pervasive pessimistic explanation could add to your misery, ” I can’ t stay away from any fattening foods. I’ll never be able to keep to a diet.” Now consider how an optimistic explanatory style could help. Your less personal or situation-specific explanation might be that, ” Well, I ate the cake at night. The problem might be the time of day. I need a healthy eating plan for nighttime when I’m less resistant to chocolate cake.” Seeing the problem as temporary, you might think, “One piece of chocolate cake is not a relapse. It was only one piece of cake and does not mean that I can’t keep away from cake in the future.” Instead of settling on a pervasive explanation, the optimistic you might narrow down the problem to chocolate cake only, having confidence in your ability to keep to the diet, just resolving to stay away from certain temptations. If the pessimist in you still wants to see eating the cake as an example of a personal failure, you can dispute the pessimistic thoughts and look at the evidence. “All I’ve done is eat one piece of cake. Instead of feeling bad about the cake, I should feel good because I followed my healthy eating plan for three days straight.” Or you can look at an alternative explanation: “I do have a weakness for chocolate cake, especially at night when I’m tired. So I’m not a failure; all I have to do is figure out a plan to keep the chocolate cake out of my house.” You can look at the implications of the adverse event. “The piece of cake is only 200 extra calories. I can make that up easily.” Additionally you can look at the usefulness of your explanation. If you keep espousing the failure explanation it will just lead to depression and guilt which will probably lead to more eating. A more useful optimistic explanation could be, ” If I think about this as just one piece of cake, I can factor 200 calories easily into my eating plan. If I keep feeling depressed, I’ll start eating just to feel better.” If you need a little more persuading you can try the “best friend” tactic. Picture your best friend who is feeling depressed because she ate some chocolate cake. What would you tell her? You’d probably take the optimistic approach, making her feel better by describing the problem as a minor transgression, helping her feel good about her dieting accomplishments thus far and strengthening her resolve to get back on her eating plan. So, why not be your own best friend? You can use this reasoning to help put the problem in perspective and move on. Once we start to feel good about ourselves, we are more able to concentrate on positive changes such as healthy eating plans. Once we realize that a lapse does not constitute a relapse, then we realize that we can occasionally make mistakes, take a mistake in stride and still make progress toward our goals.

noun

-the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour

Quotes

“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.”

Importance of Discipline

No nation can exist without discipline. It is discipline that unites man to man, and one society to another.

Good actions and good thoughts lead to purity of mind and the intellect.

An important aspect of discipline is keeping one’s plighted word.

noun

constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent exertion of body or mind.

Quotes

“He who sows the ground with care and diligence acquires a greater stock of religious merit than he could gain by the repetition of a thousand prayers”

Importance of Diligence

Hard work never did anyone harm.

Diligence stands as one of the most difficult challenges facing any group of people who take on tasks of risk and consequence. It sets a high, seemingly impossible, expectation for performance and human behavior.

noun

-adherence to moral and ethical principles; honesty

Quotes

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.”

Importance of Integrity

integrity is the number one quality of leadership. Integrity in leadership is expressed in terms of constancy and consistency. It is manifested in an absolute devotion to keeping one’s word. The glue that holds all relationships together-including the relationship between the leader and the led-is trust, and trust is based on integrity.

Integrity is so important that functioning in our society would be impossible without it. We could not make even a simple purchase without a high level of confidence that the price was honest and that the change was correct. The most successful individuals and companies in America are those with reputations of high integrity among everyone they deal with. This level of integrity builds the confidence that others have in them and enables them to do more business than their competitors whose ethics may be a little shaky. Earl Nightingale once wrote, “If honesty did not exist, it would have to be invented, as it is the surest way of getting rich.” A study at Harvard University concluded that the most valuable asset that a company has is how it is known to its customers, its reputation.

“Not snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

The value of responsibility is having a sense of priority, duty, obligation, and accountability, fulfilling a task to the best of your ability regardless of surrounding circumstances.

Topics covered in this value:

-Making excuses

-Procrastination

-Getting things done

-Types of responsibility

Making excuses:

We try to show why it wasn’t our fault that we couldn’t fulfill our commitments. “The traffic made me late,” “The dog ate my homework.” Most people spend more energy getting out of commitments, than actually fulfilling them. Whether we like it or not, we are depended on by others and this chain reaction has a domino-like effect.

Stop making excuses! Be responsibility for your own actions!

Procrastination:

Everyone procrastinates. We put things off because we don’t want to do them, or because we have too many other things on our plates. Putting things off—big or small—is part of being human. If you are reading this handout, however, it is likely that your procrastination is troubling you. You suspect that you could be a much better writer if only you didn’t put off writing projects until the last minute. You find that just when you have really gotten going on a paper, it’s time to turn it in; so, you never really have time to revise or proofread carefully. You love the rush of adrenalin you get when you finish a paper ten minutes before it’s due, but you (and your body) are getting tired of pulling all-nighters. You feel okay about procrastinating while in college, but you worry that this habit will follow you into your working life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P785j15Tzk

Getting things done:

“Give up on yourself. Begin taking action now, while being neurotic or imperfect, or a procrastinator or unhealthy or lazy or any other label by which you inaccurately describe yourself. Go ahead and be the best imperfect person you can be and get started on those things you want to accomplish before you die.” — Shoma Morita, MD

The ability to get things done and overcome procrastination is one of the most important skills to master if you wish to live well and maintain good mental health. Some of us stay very busy with constructive activities, while never getting around to the things we consider truly important, the things that will make us most proud and from which we can derive the deepest satisfaction. It takes both thoughtful reflection and deliberate action to navigate successfully through all of the urgent business of life that calls out to us, tugging us to the left and to the right. If you have a tendency to procrastinate, take heart.

And here’s a couple of steps towards a solution:

Pick your tasks one at a time, and apply the eight-minute rule.

Most of the things that need doing around the house can be done in under ten minutes. That’s a really short period of time. If you have your snooze button set to ten minute intervals, you’ll appreciate just how little time that is.

BUT. It’s enough time to do LOADS of stuff:

• Taking out the trash – 2 minutes
• Loading the dishwasher – 4 minutes
• Hoovering one room – 7 minutes
• Ordering a crate of tonic water online – 4 minutes
• Ironing two shirts – 8 minutes
• Going around your bedroom, picking up every stray sock and t-shirt and chucking all in the laundry bin – 5 minutes
• Paying five utility bills – 6 minutes etc etc etc

Types of responsibility:

Social

Social responsibility is an ethical or ideological theory that business should not function amorally but instead should contribute to the welfare of their communities and an entity whether it is a government, corporation, organization or individual has a big responsibility to society at large.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNKn93VViUc&feature=related

Economic

Economic responsibility means ensuring that there is an economic benefit both to the region from which the purchase came and to the region in which it is marketed. Is the process economically fair to everyone involved? Is anyone being exploited?

Political

The strength of a political system depends upon the full and willing participation of its citizens. The Church should continually exert a strong ethical influence upon the state, supporting policies and programs deemed to be just and opposing policies and programs that are unjust.

“They can’t hurt you unless you hurt them.”

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”

Self-confidence does not necessarily imply ‘self-belief’ or a belief in one’s ability to succeed. For instance, one may be inept at a particular sport or activity, but remain ‘confident’ in one’s demeanour, simply because one does not place a great deal of emphasis on the outcome of the activity.

The key element to self-confidence is, therefore, an acceptance of the myriad consequences of a particular situation, be they good or bad. When one does not dwell on negative consequences one can be more ‘self-confident’ because one is worrying far less about failure or (more accurately) the disapproval of others following potential failure. One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable.

If there is any ‘self-belief’ component it is simply a belief in one’s ability to tolerate whatever outcome may arise; a certainty that one will cope irrespective of what happens. Belief in one’s abilities to perform an activity comes through successful experience and may add to, or consolidate, a general sense of self-confidence.

10 Ways To Build Self-confidence

1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture

Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front row

In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

Video to watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLAogkva-Ok

“What we seek we shall find; what we flee from flees from us.”

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”

Courage is the quality of the mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain.

Physical courage is the courage in the face of physical pain, hardship, death. Moral Courage is the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal or discouragement.

Courage is not something that comes from flying to your heart in moments of need or in emergencies. Courage is not something that can be handed over to you through lessons either.

Courage is a way of life. It is as much a habit as anything else. Like getting up and brushing your teeth in the morning, or drinking coffee.

It’s a matter of routine more than anything else. People tend to speak of courage only in terms of deeds.

However, courage is not merely the name you can give to your putting up with a bad situation. After all, in a bad situation, there is not much one can do expect cope with whatever strength and forbearance you can muster.

But though we don’t notice it, a lot of courage is part of our routines. The child who breaks a leg on the football field but goes back to the game later shows courage. The student who is bent on following his dreams shows courage.

The real test of courage is in our daily lives.

For example, the courage to speak the truth. Because lies are the biggest and most obvious sort of cowardice that all of us hide behind.

The courage to speak our mind and not stay silent, simply because we are afraid that others might disagree with us.

The courage to stand up for what we believe in. The courage to follow public rules and laws and insist that other people follow them too. The courage to resist those who take easy ways out, which only leads to more corruption and red tape in our social systems.

Mark Twain has said, Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it.

The sign of a courageous person, then, is someone who is feels, fear, recognizes fear and still goes on to do what he or she believes is right. [i]

dictionary.reference.com/browse/courage

http://www.indianchild.com/character/courage.htm

Videos to watch

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP4LIh0rV3Y

Resilience is defined as a dynamic process that individuals exhibit positive behavioral adaptation when they encounter significant adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress.



Hold fast your dreams!
Within your heart
Keep one, still, secret spot
Where dreams may go,
And sheltered so
May thrive and grow-
Where doubt and fear are not.
-Lynn Driscoll-

You Mustn’t Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! if you must—but never quit.

Life is queer, with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won if he’d stuck it out;
Stick to your task, though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with one more blow.

Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt—
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
It’s when things seem worst that YOU MUSTN’T QUIT.

Download from youtube movies on resilience (movie on Man of honor and Million Dollar Baby)

Types of resilience

-Social and emotional resilience

• Resilience is the social and emotional ability to deal with the ups and downs of life.
• Most people confront stress, frustration, disappointment and loss at some stage in their life. Children or adults with significant supportive relationships can survive most difficulties, including horrific trauma.
• Resilience is dependent upon using effective social survival skills to build these supportive relationships. This means that each person needs to know how to relate and connect to other members of their social tribes, eg family, school and work.
• These skills are mandatory in making true friends, dealing with the challenges of maintaining relationships, especially with family members and difficult members of our various tribes, eg social group, work, sporting groups, religious groups, voluntary associations.

Ways to develop social and emotional resilience



1) Feelings - Your feelings influence how you behave and what you say and do. You need to identify, quantify and release your feelings so that you can become assertive, not aggressive or passive aggressive. You can also use your gut instinct to protect yourself.

2) Self esteem - Everyone needs good self-esteem to be valued, motivated and successful. If you are affected by bullying your self-esteem will be low. You need to build your self esteem so that you have the energy to protect yourself and make a group of good friends who will protect you from difficult people and obtain help from others.

3) Communication skills - the communication recipe involves using your body language, voice and the right words. When you use these skills you can block bullies, obtain respect and make real friends.

4) ‘Power pack’ - There are difficult and mean people around, there are even more who are just having a bad day. Despite what someone told you, even if you are nice to everyone, they won’t always be nice to you. You need to protect yourself and block meanness and bullying.

5) Support network - like the animal world, everyone needs intimate and wider networks to give them support and protection. You need a close bunch of good friends, and you need to know who else can help you.

-Physical resilience

It is an essential part of a warrior’s positive growth and development. In addition to peak physical performance, each warrior must be well-balanced psychologically, spiritually and socially in order to sustain the rigors of military life.

Physical Resilience is:

• The ability to maintain mission readiness before, during and after stressful situations in combat.
• An essential part of successful transitions in the deployment cycle.
• Critical to facilitating recovery from symptoms of combat stress.
• An important way to enhance effectiveness and decrease the adverse effects of stress in all aspects of military service.²

A Roadmap for Warrior Resilience(Ways)

• Like a physical skill, psychological resilience is a skill you can learn.⁵ Warriors can use the following 10 tactics as a roadmap for improving resilience:⁶
• 1. Make personal connections
  Strengthen relationships, communicate openly, and accept support from close family members and friends.
• 2. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems
  You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen in combat, but you can change how you respond and look towards the future.
• 3. Accept that change is a part of living
  Accepting the things you can’t change can help you focus on the things you can change.
• 4. Move toward your goals
  Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”
• 5. Take positive, decisive actions
  Act on adverse situations as much as you can, rather than detaching from problems and just wishing they would go away.
• 6. Look for opportunities for self-discovery
  Warriors often find that they eventually grow in some respect as a result of their experience with a traumatic event or loss.
• 7. Nurture a positive view of yourself
  Develop confidence in your ability to solve problems and trust your instincts.
• 8. Keep things in perspective
  Even when facing very painful events, focus on their broader context and keep a long-term perspective.
• 9. Maintain a hopeful outlook
  Expect that good things will happen in your life. Visualize what you want, rather than focusing on what you fear.
• · 10. Take care of yourself
  Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Take care of both your body and your mind.

-Environmental and climate resilience

It embraces human and natural systems as complex entities continually adapting through cycles of change, and seeks to understand the qualities of a system that must be maintained or enhanced in order to achieve sustainability.

Ways to develop environment and climate resilience:

1)    Reduce dependency on limited resources to conserve fossil fuels

2)    Open to new ways/ alternatives to adapt to environmental changes.

Download video on climate resilience from  http://transitionculture.org/2010/03/26/an-interview-with-neil-adger-resilience-adaptability-localisation-and-transition/

Exercise:

1) Nominate a person who exhibit the core value of resilience

Form:

I _____(name)________ from ___(class)___would like to nominate ____(name of person)______.

He/She exhibits ____(Type of resilience)______as _______(state reasons)___________.

2) State two things you have learned from one of the movies.